I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
