Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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