i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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