even my farts smell like vagina
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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