I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
