she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
