Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
