i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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