He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
