I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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