I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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