guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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