I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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