I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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