careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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