The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
