only you would photoshop your dick
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
