Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
