And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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