I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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