u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
