You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize