So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
soo... how was my night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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