I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
