he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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