yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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