You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Randomize
