My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
