just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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