Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
