No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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