How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
