If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
