is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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