I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
