we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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