just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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