I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
