Plan B is the new Plan A
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
