im six kinds of drunk right now
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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