We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
