you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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