I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
