I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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