i was born a porn star she said
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
