textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize