My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
