I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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