I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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