i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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