nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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