if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
