your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Plan B is the new Plan A
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize