Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
