we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
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I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I pour the whiskey from now on
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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