so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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