I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
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I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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