margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
