Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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