he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
