Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My dick has a subreddit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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